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annwfynAs very few of you will know, except those who have seen me in the last week, I managed to break my glasses last week. It was exceptionally vexing; I took off my glasses to put on eyeliner, dropped them two inches from my hand, into the sink, they landed awkwardly, and the lens cracked.
Due to financial constraints, I decided to not pay £200 for a new pair of glasses, and instead am wearing my old glasses from my South American days (the glasses that I bought in Lima, withquisalan translating for me with the optician. I also decided to get my eyes checked, and signed up for disposable contact lenses, delivered by post, for £20 a month.
This means I'm now shifting back from being a 'girl with glasses, who wears contacts for special occasions' to a 'girl with contact lenses who wears glasses when she's pottering around the house'. And it's odd. I've realised how very differently I look at myself when I'm not wearing my glasses. I think I look prettier, whether I do or not. I think I look less dorky. It's very telling that I've got one LJ icon of me wearing my glasses, and that's this one, which I've photoshopped pretty heavily.
So why have I been wearing glasses full time for the year? Mostly because I didn't feel as if I could justify having an additional direct debit going out of my account every month for contact lenses while my finances have been so very up and down. Now I'm working again (and might be able to continue working part time for the forseeable future) I have a bit more disposable income, and can afford the £20 per month.
The contact lenses still feel kinda sore and odd at the moment, but I quite like the odd glimpses I get of my face.
I'm also pondering my odd relationship with glasses. I think it comes second only to my relationship with my weight, in terms of how it affects my self esteem.
I'm remembering being about six or seven, and having to tell the optician that came to my school to give us all eye tests that he couldn't test my eyes properly as I had a pair of glasses that I kept in my bag. Would he like me to go and get them for the eye test? A letter went home to my mother after that, and all the staff were told to prod me to wear my glasses.
I'm remembering getting my first pair of glasses with special thinner lenses, which I was incredibly excited about. I remember the horrible crushing disappointment when they arrived, and I discovered that the special thin lenses I was able to get, still stuck out past the frames for a couple of centimeters. I think I burst into tears, and my father was furious with me for throwing a tantrum after he and my mother had bought me these special, expensive glasses. I didn't quite know how to articulate how much these glasses had meant to me, how I had built them up in my mind, and how upsetting it was that they were nothing like the perfect thin lenses (the lenses that weren't like coke bottle tops) that I had built up in my mind.
I'm remembering getting contact lenses for the first time when I was fifteen. They hurt like hell, but I remember walking round town, trying not to blink, and thinking over and over again "no one is seeing a girl with glasses. No one is seeing a girl with glasses".
All very very odd.
Due to financial constraints, I decided to not pay £200 for a new pair of glasses, and instead am wearing my old glasses from my South American days (the glasses that I bought in Lima, with
quisalan translating for me with the optician. I also decided to get my eyes checked, and signed up for disposable contact lenses, delivered by post, for £20 a month. This means I'm now shifting back from being a 'girl with glasses, who wears contacts for special occasions' to a 'girl with contact lenses who wears glasses when she's pottering around the house'. And it's odd. I've realised how very differently I look at myself when I'm not wearing my glasses. I think I look prettier, whether I do or not. I think I look less dorky. It's very telling that I've got one LJ icon of me wearing my glasses, and that's this one, which I've photoshopped pretty heavily.
So why have I been wearing glasses full time for the year? Mostly because I didn't feel as if I could justify having an additional direct debit going out of my account every month for contact lenses while my finances have been so very up and down. Now I'm working again (and might be able to continue working part time for the forseeable future) I have a bit more disposable income, and can afford the £20 per month.
The contact lenses still feel kinda sore and odd at the moment, but I quite like the odd glimpses I get of my face.
I'm also pondering my odd relationship with glasses. I think it comes second only to my relationship with my weight, in terms of how it affects my self esteem.
I'm remembering being about six or seven, and having to tell the optician that came to my school to give us all eye tests that he couldn't test my eyes properly as I had a pair of glasses that I kept in my bag. Would he like me to go and get them for the eye test? A letter went home to my mother after that, and all the staff were told to prod me to wear my glasses.
I'm remembering getting my first pair of glasses with special thinner lenses, which I was incredibly excited about. I remember the horrible crushing disappointment when they arrived, and I discovered that the special thin lenses I was able to get, still stuck out past the frames for a couple of centimeters. I think I burst into tears, and my father was furious with me for throwing a tantrum after he and my mother had bought me these special, expensive glasses. I didn't quite know how to articulate how much these glasses had meant to me, how I had built them up in my mind, and how upsetting it was that they were nothing like the perfect thin lenses (the lenses that weren't like coke bottle tops) that I had built up in my mind.
I'm remembering getting contact lenses for the first time when I was fifteen. They hurt like hell, but I remember walking round town, trying not to blink, and thinking over and over again "no one is seeing a girl with glasses. No one is seeing a girl with glasses".
All very very odd.
