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annwfynI had such an odd dream last night.
I dreamt that I went into college today to get my results and have my final tutorial. It was one of those terrifying real dreams - there was no strange logic, nothing was surreal, and everything seemed perfectly normal. I got a lift into college, and stopped at the pharmacy en route. I went into my tutorial. I came home. It's just that in my dream, everything went wrong.
I went into the pharmacy to pick up some pills, and somehow wound up having to pay £30 for them, + £30 for some other groceries I needed. I found myself standing at the checkout, thinking "but I've only got £70 to last me for the next two weeks, and now I've spent £60. I don't have any money left now, but I need these pills" and beginning to panic.
I went into my tutorial and was told "sorry - you failed on one of your pieces. Yes, the second piece?" and discovered that the examiners hadn't actually looked at my final project - they had accidentally examined another couple of stray maps that I had in my drawer so I could fiddle with them if I had time, and as no work had been done on them, they had failed me. I tried to explain that those maps were part of my project, but the tutor wasn't too convinced, and said "oh, I'll send them a note about that, and we'll see what they say". It certainly looked like my place on the MA was falling through.
Then I came out, and realised that as I'd gotten a lift here with someone else, who had now left, I had no car to get home, and would have to spend £5 to get the bus and then tube to get home, and it would take me an hour instead of 15 minutes.
I woke up shortly after that, with this horrible, miserable sick sense of failure. I had to remind myself that it was just a dream - it wasn't real - but I've still got the emotional hangover from the dream. I'm now worrying about these results, and I wasn't really before.
I want this to be over. I want 10.30 am to come quicker.
Gods, I'm jittery.
I dreamt that I went into college today to get my results and have my final tutorial. It was one of those terrifying real dreams - there was no strange logic, nothing was surreal, and everything seemed perfectly normal. I got a lift into college, and stopped at the pharmacy en route. I went into my tutorial. I came home. It's just that in my dream, everything went wrong.
I went into the pharmacy to pick up some pills, and somehow wound up having to pay £30 for them, + £30 for some other groceries I needed. I found myself standing at the checkout, thinking "but I've only got £70 to last me for the next two weeks, and now I've spent £60. I don't have any money left now, but I need these pills" and beginning to panic.
I went into my tutorial and was told "sorry - you failed on one of your pieces. Yes, the second piece?" and discovered that the examiners hadn't actually looked at my final project - they had accidentally examined another couple of stray maps that I had in my drawer so I could fiddle with them if I had time, and as no work had been done on them, they had failed me. I tried to explain that those maps were part of my project, but the tutor wasn't too convinced, and said "oh, I'll send them a note about that, and we'll see what they say". It certainly looked like my place on the MA was falling through.
Then I came out, and realised that as I'd gotten a lift here with someone else, who had now left, I had no car to get home, and would have to spend £5 to get the bus and then tube to get home, and it would take me an hour instead of 15 minutes.
I woke up shortly after that, with this horrible, miserable sick sense of failure. I had to remind myself that it was just a dream - it wasn't real - but I've still got the emotional hangover from the dream. I'm now worrying about these results, and I wasn't really before.
I want this to be over. I want 10.30 am to come quicker.
Gods, I'm jittery.
