Pirates of the Caribbean 4

[annwfyn]

So, I've decided Pirates x 4 is clearly a marmite movie. People seem to either love it, or hate it. I went to see it with pierot and it nearly became the third movie ever which jez has walked out of. I stayed for the mermaid love story as that was the only bit of the film which I was able to hook onto as a story.

As for the rest of it, Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz seemed to me to have all the chemistry of mating kippers, Johnny Depp didn't so much dial it in as leave a voice mail and I never realized how much I'd miss Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly until they had gone.

For me, 'On Strange Tides' just felt as if it had somehow missed the formula which made the first three films awesome, and instead just assumed if you threw enough pirate clichés, naval battles, identikit shots of Hawaiian landscape and Johnny Depp reeling beneath the weight of his dreadlocks it would somehow work.

Yet it didn't. The reason Captain Jack Sparrow was so amazingly effective in the first film was that he was the comic relief. He was the break from the terribly pretty earnestness of Elizabeth Swann and Willian Turner, the man who could raise an eyebrow slightly and acknowledge the mild silliness of the whole thing. And that was incredible. Then the rest of the film provided the weight and the seriousness to balance him, to ground him, to stop him turning the whole thing into pantomime. Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann believed in their story and encouraged the audience to do likewise. Jack Sparrow never did and never seemed to want to.

And in this film there was no balance. Jack Sparrow was asked to be the comic relief, foil, leading man and love interest all at once. We had to believe in him as irreverent, irresponsible, selfish, almost a great big kid, and also as a devoted lover. And it didn't work. Instead I just found myself utterly unable to believe in him being in love with the woman dressed up as Kate Beckinsale a la Van Helsing.

I also wish they hadn't made Jack Sparrow superman all of a sudden. In the first films, he was actually kind of crap at times. His ship sunk as he came into port, he ran away because he was being outclassed, he would have been hung had it not been for Will Turner rescuing him and he had an insane kind of genius which sometimes just looked like plain good luck. But he wasn't a mastermind or a Sherlock Holmes. His opening scene featuring Jack Sparrow setting up a room in a cunning fashion to enable him to make a stunning escape from beneath the nose of the king's men just felt too...competent for me.

Oh, and if anyone knows where he got those coals from, which went up like they had been soaked in napalm as soon as touched with a lighted brand, could you let me know. After many years of weeping over BBQs which fail to light, I'd really like to know.

As for the rest of the cast, I wasn't too sold on Lovejoy as a Super Special Magic Pirate (who was noticeably shorter than most of the rest of the cast), the 'who is betraying who' confusion with Penelope Cruz and everyone just bored me, Geoffrey Rush's skin condition perturbed me, and I tragically found myself having faint hopes for the missionary and the mermaid love story, but found the ending a bit of a let down. Was she killing and eating him? Rescuing him? I think maybe I'm being dim here but I didn't quite get it.

The ritual to use the Fountain of Youth seemed to make no sense (who found that out? And how? What inspired them to start shipping in mermaids and making them cry?), and about the only people who seemed to maintain their dignity were the Spaniards who were criminally underused.

I get that a lot of people really enjoyed this film, and as someone who has watched Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans three times, I feel I am in no position to criticize. I just don't think I get it. Still, I suppose the world would be a dull place if we all liked the same thing.

I will admit to being a little concerned at reports that Jack Sparrow reminded pmp of pierot. I hope he and jez can repair the obvious rifts in their relationship. Whatever he did to you, it can't have been that bad!

Comments

[cairmen.livejournal.com]

I'm a huge fan of the book that the film was "suggested" by, and much like the film of From Hell, at times you could see glimpses of what could have been.

There was definitely the possibility of a great film from that material - but it would have been a LOT darker than Disney would have ever been comfortable with. Let's face it, even the original Jack Sparrow, who was comic, but was also a lying, doublecrossing bastard, is a bit dark for Disney.

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

There's a book? Oh, interesting. I didn't know that.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Tim Powers' "On Stranger Tides". Basically a hunt for the fountain of youth with an earnest young man getting caught up with Pirates. If that had been the core story and then Jack Sparrow had popped up and caused mayhem, then we would have been on much more solid ground.

[suave-steve.livejournal.com]

Yes the point of the Sparrow character is that his self aggrandised reputation is far superior to the truth of the man and that he is there to act as a trickster to the leading characters. He's not supposed to be the hero of the piece.

But then I found the first film passable and the next two dire.

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

Exactly! You put that far far better than I.

I will admit to adoring the third film in a really sad and tragic way, and really wanting it to end with Will and Elizabeth having their happy ending (and they did in my head, no matter what anyone else says). The sad thing about the fourth film was that I mostly just found it boring.

Well, except for the burning coals. I kept wondering where I could get some of those.

[suave-steve.livejournal.com]

I was paraphrasing from someone else ;)

But yes bored by the fourth film is mostly what I've heard from people.

I found the other sequels to be bloated, unfocused and with only a couple of exceptions lacking actual characters.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

The Damned Deleted Scene! At World End would have been a perfect movie (OK, maybe not perfect, maybe very muddled, but still better) if they'd left in the scene that explained that if the "True love" waits for the captain of the Dutchman for ten years faithfully then he is freed from the curse. Because I forgave everything in the two sequels when the scene of Orlando back from the dead and Johnny back in charge of the Pearl broadsiding the bad guys from both sides.

I kept on waiting for a mention of Will or Elizabeth in the new film, but nada, nothing!!

[pmp.livejournal.com]

It's ok, I meant it to be a good thing, as I enjoyed the movie and think of Capt. Jack as a flamboyant, intelligent guy who fills the room with his personality.

Anyhow, better than me sitting there during the past Dr Who and thinking "hmm the.TARDIS character is very much someone annfwyn could have played!

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

I was once told that Kate Beckingsale's character in Underworld was TOTALLY a Sally character.

I was very traumatized.

[pmp.livejournal.com]

I think the person who told you that musta been traumatised!!

You are many things and people if you want to be, but Selene you aren't.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Try dressing like her and we'll see.

[kissmedeadly.livejournal.com]

When I heard that they were getting rid of the surreal stuff that happened in the 3rd film I was disappointed, since I found the crazy surreal stuff to be the best part, which probably says lots about my brain.

I saw it as an eye candy film and hadn't realised analysed much, but yes, you're absolutely right, Jack doesn't work without something serious to counterbalance him and wasn't plausible with penelope. Thank you for giving me something better to say than "eyeliner! fishies!" when I am asked for a comment in future :)

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen a good review yet, and so will almost certainyl skip this one.

Go and see THOR. It's tremendous fun popcorn entertainment.

[malakite.livejournal.com]

Yes, Thor. Wonderful film. If you can see it in 2D, do so as the 3D doesn't really add anything noticeable.