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annwfynThis is another in my occasional series of 'what my life actually looks like', for those who aren't around physically, or for those who have just forgotten what I look like.
I tend to use assorted pics found via a google image search, and am utterly shameless about this. I really ought to use my digital camera more. I really need to download my pics from my Australian holiday.
Anyway, here are some pics of Wolfson College, the place I'm in the process of moving out of. I've actually grown rather fond of it. I think I'm going to miss the place more than I expected. It's not a pretty Oxford College of great antiquity, but it's a friendly place and it's got the loveliest gardens.
The last pic is the building where I actually lived and had my little room.
My good mood today continues. I'm trying to sort the house today, clean and then potter about. It'spierot's day off and it's nice to have him about for a bit. I'm also having one of my odd and occasional ponderings. This time it's on the use of the word 'hypocrisy'.
This isn't triggered by anything in particular. It's been coming for a while.
It's been occuring to me that an awful lot of people I know overuse the word 'hypocrisy', and seem to use it almost as a catch all accusation when they are upset with someone. It's up there with medieval accusations of heresy - if you're gunning for someone, then stick it in. It's next to impossible to disprove and it's an entirely subjective statement.
It's also increasingly beginning to bother me. There are times when I really don't think it's terribly fair and a lot of times when it really doesn't actually seem very appropriate. It seems to be a phrase that gets flung about at times when either the accusee has changed their mind on something, possibly over many years, but now appears to have a different view to one they once held, or when they appear to be acting differently in two different situations which the accuser has decided are the same, but which may appear utterly different to the accusee.
An example of the first case of 'hypocrisy crime' would be the accuser saying 'it's so hypocritical of Bill the ex-Burgler to have a go at me for breaking and entering. After all, didn't he serve time for burglary 20 years ago?'
To my mind it doesn't entirely make sense and isn't exactly fair to effectively deny someone the right to learn, to change their mind as exposed to different situations and different things. I know that as a stroppy student I was very much of the opinion that it was selling out to get some dull job and one should nobly follow one's dreams. People who gave up on academia, or show business or something else to get a job in a bank were sell outs. When I was 21 I met a girl in Croatia who told me off for this viewpoint - she pointed out that while it's very nice to do one's phd, people's priorities changed. She'd started out working towards a philosophy phd at Harvard, but had just grown tired of always being poor, always being stressed, always working. She gave it up and got a job, and said that in a lot of ways it was very liberating to not worry about money, to be able to travel, take time out to volunteer for charity and know the bills would be paid when she got back. She didn't see it as giving up on her dreams. She saw it as a way to persue new dreams and pointed out to me that people's priorities changed and that's not a bad thing.
She was right. I took that on board and I'd tend to disagree now that desk job = bad. It's a choice. That's all. Is it hypocritical of me to think this? Would it be hypocritical of me to get a PA job and just use the money to go travelling/get a house/go to the theatre a lot? I don't think it would be. It would be me growing and changing. That's all. People are allowed to change. Making a statement five years ago, doesn't mean you're a raging hypocrite if you appear to not be following your own advice five years later.
An example of the second type of 'hypocrisy crime' would be someone saying 'it's really hypocritical of Bob to get all snarky at Betty for sleeping around behind his back. After all, wasn't he snogging Polly all that time'. This would seem fair, were it not for the fact that as far as Bob was aware, he and Betty had a semi-open relationship which allowed snogging other people, but banned sex with other people and so Betty has broken the rules of their relationship and he hasn't. In his mind, the two situations are utterly different, but it's fairly easy for someone else to lump them together and start using the 'h' word.
To be honest, at times it looks like an accusation is hypocrisy is something which gets thrown in almost any time someone is hurt and/or angry with someone, and wants a word which can somehow justify this anger or upset. It's also a word which gets used a lot defensively. I suppose I can understand why, but it bugs me.
God knows, it isn't a word which shouldn't be used. There is amazing hypocrisy out there, often with the hypocrites saying 'but it's different when I do it', and I can see why it grates. God knows we're also all guilty of hypocrisy at various points. I probably am. It's entirely possible that I'm being a raging hypocrite right now in writing this rantette when I've muttered darkly in the last week that 'it's somewhat ironic that [name deleted for reasons of tact] is getting so wound up about [situation deleted for reasons of tact] when he used to [and I don't think you want to hear about the incident with the goats]'. It's just that I've come across a couple of uses of the word 'hypocrisy' lately and it's annoyed me. It isn't hypocrisy to change your mind! It isn't hypocrisy to act according to the situation and what is appropriate! And it bloody well isn't hypocrisy to tell someone that they are being a bit of a git if you've ever, in your life, done anything which might mean you're not perfect. That isn't hypocrisy! It's life.
Gnargh.
Erm. I'll stop now.
I tend to use assorted pics found via a google image search, and am utterly shameless about this. I really ought to use my digital camera more. I really need to download my pics from my Australian holiday.
Anyway, here are some pics of Wolfson College, the place I'm in the process of moving out of. I've actually grown rather fond of it. I think I'm going to miss the place more than I expected. It's not a pretty Oxford College of great antiquity, but it's a friendly place and it's got the loveliest gardens.
The last pic is the building where I actually lived and had my little room.
My good mood today continues. I'm trying to sort the house today, clean and then potter about. It's
pierot's day off and it's nice to have him about for a bit. I'm also having one of my odd and occasional ponderings. This time it's on the use of the word 'hypocrisy'.This isn't triggered by anything in particular. It's been coming for a while.
It's been occuring to me that an awful lot of people I know overuse the word 'hypocrisy', and seem to use it almost as a catch all accusation when they are upset with someone. It's up there with medieval accusations of heresy - if you're gunning for someone, then stick it in. It's next to impossible to disprove and it's an entirely subjective statement.
It's also increasingly beginning to bother me. There are times when I really don't think it's terribly fair and a lot of times when it really doesn't actually seem very appropriate. It seems to be a phrase that gets flung about at times when either the accusee has changed their mind on something, possibly over many years, but now appears to have a different view to one they once held, or when they appear to be acting differently in two different situations which the accuser has decided are the same, but which may appear utterly different to the accusee.
An example of the first case of 'hypocrisy crime' would be the accuser saying 'it's so hypocritical of Bill the ex-Burgler to have a go at me for breaking and entering. After all, didn't he serve time for burglary 20 years ago?'
To my mind it doesn't entirely make sense and isn't exactly fair to effectively deny someone the right to learn, to change their mind as exposed to different situations and different things. I know that as a stroppy student I was very much of the opinion that it was selling out to get some dull job and one should nobly follow one's dreams. People who gave up on academia, or show business or something else to get a job in a bank were sell outs. When I was 21 I met a girl in Croatia who told me off for this viewpoint - she pointed out that while it's very nice to do one's phd, people's priorities changed. She'd started out working towards a philosophy phd at Harvard, but had just grown tired of always being poor, always being stressed, always working. She gave it up and got a job, and said that in a lot of ways it was very liberating to not worry about money, to be able to travel, take time out to volunteer for charity and know the bills would be paid when she got back. She didn't see it as giving up on her dreams. She saw it as a way to persue new dreams and pointed out to me that people's priorities changed and that's not a bad thing.
She was right. I took that on board and I'd tend to disagree now that desk job = bad. It's a choice. That's all. Is it hypocritical of me to think this? Would it be hypocritical of me to get a PA job and just use the money to go travelling/get a house/go to the theatre a lot? I don't think it would be. It would be me growing and changing. That's all. People are allowed to change. Making a statement five years ago, doesn't mean you're a raging hypocrite if you appear to not be following your own advice five years later.
An example of the second type of 'hypocrisy crime' would be someone saying 'it's really hypocritical of Bob to get all snarky at Betty for sleeping around behind his back. After all, wasn't he snogging Polly all that time'. This would seem fair, were it not for the fact that as far as Bob was aware, he and Betty had a semi-open relationship which allowed snogging other people, but banned sex with other people and so Betty has broken the rules of their relationship and he hasn't. In his mind, the two situations are utterly different, but it's fairly easy for someone else to lump them together and start using the 'h' word.
To be honest, at times it looks like an accusation is hypocrisy is something which gets thrown in almost any time someone is hurt and/or angry with someone, and wants a word which can somehow justify this anger or upset. It's also a word which gets used a lot defensively. I suppose I can understand why, but it bugs me.
God knows, it isn't a word which shouldn't be used. There is amazing hypocrisy out there, often with the hypocrites saying 'but it's different when I do it', and I can see why it grates. God knows we're also all guilty of hypocrisy at various points. I probably am. It's entirely possible that I'm being a raging hypocrite right now in writing this rantette when I've muttered darkly in the last week that 'it's somewhat ironic that [name deleted for reasons of tact] is getting so wound up about [situation deleted for reasons of tact] when he used to [and I don't think you want to hear about the incident with the goats]'. It's just that I've come across a couple of uses of the word 'hypocrisy' lately and it's annoyed me. It isn't hypocrisy to change your mind! It isn't hypocrisy to act according to the situation and what is appropriate! And it bloody well isn't hypocrisy to tell someone that they are being a bit of a git if you've ever, in your life, done anything which might mean you're not perfect. That isn't hypocrisy! It's life.
Gnargh.
Erm. I'll stop now.
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 09:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 09:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 10:04 am (UTC)Though don't forget the mandatory ten years in the Learning Box for anyone who misuses apostrophes :)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 10:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 11:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 10:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 10:07 am (UTC)Ooooh...I'd be rude to anyone I found being all hippocrazical.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 11:12 am (UTC)"That's so hippocratical"
"Trust me, once I've released the insane hippos, you'll wish I'd pledged to do no harm."
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 10:59 am (UTC)But for those of us who don't actually see you much, (although maybe it's just me), I'd like to see what *you* actually look like these days! ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 12:26 pm (UTC)That's me prancing about in London dressed up as my Gangrel.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 02:07 pm (UTC)Will be all the nicer to see you in person in September, of course.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-29 07:26 am (UTC)Am actually really looking forward to seeing you. You get to meet jez as well.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 11:12 am (UTC)I can only assume that there is a lot of projection going on in both cases because dammit I'm aggressive-aggressive... :-)
I don't act like a martyr when people upset me - I raise issues openly, and, if really annoyed, yell at them... :-)
As to hypocrisy, I suppose it's an easy one to use because we all know that certain stuff is wrong and yet can't always stop ourselves doing it.
I give plenty of advice that boils down to "We've all done it at times, but you know it would be a really bad idea, so please try not to."
I suppose what it comes down to is that sometimes people can't dispute the accuracy or fairness of actual complaints against them, so they resort to complaining about the way in which issues were raised with them or something like that, in an attempt to distract from the real problems - hence the overuse of accusations of hypocrisy.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 01:08 pm (UTC)Of course, that then brings me on to my other ramble, which is 'telling someone something bad about themself is a difficult thing to do, and by and large the more gentle you are, the better the chance that they will listen'. One of my other occasional mutters has been people who go and tell someone that they are a f**king moron, and then wonder why the person they've just essentially verbally attacked gets defensive and won't listen. People don't want to accept your point of view or listen to you, if in order to do that they have to accept that they are Bad (tm). And if you attack while giving your opponent no way out other than to say 'you're right, I'm wrong wrong wrong' then they will keep arguing longer.
Of course, I'm a complete hypocrite in some ways for saying that, as I know that I'm quite capable of getting angry and exploding right left and centre. *grins ruefully* I wish that it was possible to see something and actually successfully apply it to oneself, especially when Exploding Temper Of Doom is going off.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 04:15 pm (UTC)Yes, fundamentally, that seems to be the way it's usually used.
> 'telling someone something bad about themself is a difficult thing to do, and by and large the more gentle you are, the better the chance that they will listen'.
Yes, that's generally true.
However you occasionally have people who ignore subtle comments for months, and then you are left with no option but to be blunt.
And then there are people who swear that they can cope with hearing stuff and then go ballistic when they hear it...
My all time favorite was the time the person concerned was actually badgering me to tell her my honest opinion on an issue that I'd been carefully avoiding for months because I didn't think disagreeing with her was going to help an already tense situation...
Oh well... :-)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 01:56 pm (UTC)