annwfyn: (Sally - looking backwards)
[personal profile] annwfyn
I found these this morning - Lower Road where my house is, back at the turn of century.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I have a massive fondness for old photos. I'm not sure why - probably because they do provide this single glimpse into the past.

I went peering for other old photos of where my ancestors were at that period in time - Auchinleck, in Ayrshire, Montreal, in Quebec, and other places of which I know nothing - and found to my great disappointment that the pics looked disturbingly similar and provided no contrast at all - I found other pics of men in peaked caps standing in front of stone houses with a cart or two in the background. As such, I didn't post them up, as I'm not convinced those pics have much to say, which is a mild shame.

Hunting for pics made me ponder why it was that I was so keen on hunting for pics of the places my family came from. I've got a fondness for family history, perhaps coz I worked in it for so long. While I don't believe that you are entirely the sum total of your ancestry, and it is possible and indeed normal for a family to stray a long way from their roots, I do think it's nice to know where you did come from, and who your ancestors were. It's nice to feel part of a continuity, going back as far as you can. It gives another spin on history to be able to read a book and say 'that's where I would have fitted in'. It kinda helps makes sense of the past, and that's important to me.

In other news, I'm in a fairly ratty mood today. [profile] pierot has pointed out that this isn't uncommon for me at the moment - I tend to be snarky and tense. I know a lot is to do with the relentless viewings, and the estate agent crap. I'm a fairly territorial person, and I find it very hard to have lost, in some ways, any control over my most basic bit of territory, which is my bedroom. I hate the fact that I can't leave a jumper on the floor, because there's a viewing pretty much every day at the moment. I hate the fact that I can't sprawl in bed on a Saturday morning, because there's a viewing and I've got to be up and dressed and presentable. Without my most basic bit of space to relax in, I wind up feeling more claustrophobic in general, and find people increasingly hard to deal with. I don't have anywhere I can retreat to, so I just tense up a little, constantly, and that does make me a little more prone to grumpiness.

I am trying to figure out ways to deal with this, and I don't quite know how. Bah. And humbug. It's probably not helping that I'm having a lot of nightmares at the moment - vivid, lurid dreams in which people I know stop being my friends and become my enemies, trying to hurt me. I've talked about a few of them, and I've tried to make them seem funny, but it is beginning to lose the humour value to me. When every morning I wake up and have to take a few minutes to tell myself that it was just a dream, it wasn't real...

*tries to put it into words*

It just begins to wear a little at my brain. The lack of sleep brought on by waking up early from a nightmare and being scared of going back to sleep isn't helping either. Not sure at all how to deal with that one. I think my brain is trying to tell me something. I just don't know quite what.

*sighs*

And that's me...

Date: 2006-09-16 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melsner.livejournal.com
I understand the territorial stuff, both from myself and having met you.

Try thinking about where you are now as a hotel or something else temporary (which it is). Mentally invest in your new house as your space. Start planning what goes where, how you'll decorate it, etc. Start planning the move, as far as how you'll pack, mark boxes, etc.

I'm aware that Sallys hate change, but it might help to focus on the next couple of steps, rather than where you are now.

Date: 2006-09-16 07:23 pm (UTC)
ext_20269: (looking backwards)
From: [identity profile] annwfyn.livejournal.com
Thank you, honey. That really does help.

*hugs*

Date: 2006-09-16 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melsner.livejournal.com
And if that doesn't work, pretend it's a roleplaying game where the Prince has changed your domain.

Date: 2006-09-18 10:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twicedead.livejournal.com
Sally can't hunt and kill the estate agents... or can she?

Date: 2006-09-18 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melsner.livejournal.com
Don't give her any ideas... She's probably already deciding what she'd wear.

Question

Date: 2006-09-18 02:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liamgaidin.livejournal.com
Heya hun?
When do you move into your new place?

Re: Question

Date: 2006-09-18 02:36 pm (UTC)
ext_20269: (demure sally)
From: [identity profile] annwfyn.livejournal.com
End of the month, hopefully...

Re: Question

Date: 2006-09-18 03:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liamgaidin.livejournal.com
Well at least the situation with the viewings is only temporary and you only have about 2 weeks left. Will be nice to finally get into the new house. :)

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