annwfyn: (love - woman in white)
[personal profile] annwfyn
I don't know how many folk have seen the Cancer Research UK ads - the "I shouldn't be here" campaign. I have embedded a video of it below the cut.




Cancer Research UK Shouldn't Be Here





For those who don't want to watch it, it features a series of people saying "I shouldn't be here" with a grateful expression as they get on with their lives - playing football, holding a grandchild etc. The ad then finishes with a tearful looking woman saying "Mum should have been here" as she tries on her wedding dress. The gist of the advert is that Cancer Research UK is helping lots of people survive much longer than they would have done ten years ago. It's a powerful campaign. It's an effective campaign. And I hate it.

Last night I spent half an hour in floods of tears on the sofa. I was crying my eyes out because on February 7th, I turn 30. Mum should have turned 60 on the same day. She won't. She didn't even make 55. Instead she died of cancer and I miss her so much.

She should have been here. She should have seen my flat, she should have met [livejournal.com profile] pierot, she should have celebrated her 60th birthday on the same day that I celebrated my 30th.

But she isn't.

And I hate that ad for reminding me of this. I'm crying again, just writing this.

I know it's a good ad. I know loads of people are giving money because of it. But why the hell does it have to be everywhere, especially right now.

Mum should be here.

And I hate the fact that she isn't.

Date: 2008-01-23 10:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawrencegillies.livejournal.com
You have my symapthy. I too respect but hate that advert, given my father's death just before Christmas, so I think I know roughly how you feel on this one... I'm not sure that there's anything I can add to what I've just written...

Date: 2008-01-23 10:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sea-of-flame.livejournal.com
*hugs*

Do you want to meet up for lunch today?

I'm hoping to be back at work tomorrow...

Date: 2008-01-23 10:35 am (UTC)
ext_20269: (Sally - in Bolivia)
From: [identity profile] annwfyn.livejournal.com
Yes - that would be lovely. Where do you want to meet up? I can do Surrey Quays or Greenwich.
Edited Date: 2008-01-23 10:36 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-01-23 10:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sea-of-flame.livejournal.com
Greenwich would be easier for me - where do you fancy?

Tex-mex, chinese, vietnamese, indian...?

Date: 2008-01-23 10:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adze.livejournal.com
~hugs~

I wish I had something more useful to say than that, but it's all I've got...

Date: 2008-01-23 10:42 am (UTC)
ext_20269: (studious - the worst witch)
From: [identity profile] annwfyn.livejournal.com
Ooooh...decisions, decisions....

There's loads of nice places in Greenwich. I'd suggest somewhere cheap-ish, for I am a poor student, but other than that I'm flexible.

And what time? I'd vague suggest around 1 ish if that's possible as that gives me some time to get some college work done.

Date: 2008-01-23 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sea-of-flame.livejournal.com
Yep, that's absolutely fine - and quite a lot of them do cheap lunch options when it's mid-week...shall we just meet up by the DLR exit for 1pm & see what looks nice?

They're all so close to each other that it doesn't really matter!

Not sure if you've still got my number - it's 07950 357 566

Date: 2008-01-23 10:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ravenseer.livejournal.com
*cuddles*

I'm thinking of you honey. I don't know what else to say, just, many hugs.

We are here.

Date: 2008-01-23 10:48 am (UTC)
taimatsu: (Default)
From: [personal profile] taimatsu
I don't want to give just virtual hugs but there's nothing that can be said, really. At least I have a few years to go before the big birthday :/

Date: 2008-01-23 10:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginasketch.livejournal.com
*hugs*

I can't stand that ad either. The people look...smug.

Date: 2008-01-23 11:01 am (UTC)
ext_20269: (tarot - unicorn wave)
From: [identity profile] annwfyn.livejournal.com
The DLR by the Cutty Sark? Or is there another one?

And 1 pm sounds fine to me.

Date: 2008-01-23 11:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sea-of-flame.livejournal.com
That's the one!

(Er, there is another one at Greenwich overground, but the Cutty Sark one is far more sensible for eating in town :)

Date: 2008-01-23 11:12 am (UTC)
ext_20269: (Sally - sitting on books)
From: [identity profile] annwfyn.livejournal.com
Yeah...I know. Not a lot to be said, really. I just wanted to get the thoughts out of my head. *hugs* And hopefully the big birthdays and other memorable occasions will be survivable for you.

Date: 2008-01-23 11:12 am (UTC)
ext_20269: (Sally - sitting on books)
From: [identity profile] annwfyn.livejournal.com
*hugs*

Sorry about your Dad. Hope this wasn't too triggering and miserable for you to read.

Date: 2008-01-23 11:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawrencegillies.livejournal.com
No need to worry on that front, if it bothered me in that way, I'd not have replied. But thank you for thinking of it!

Date: 2008-01-23 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riksowden.livejournal.com
I'm sorry for you, i don't know at all how you feel, but i'm sorry its bad :(

Date: 2008-01-23 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stormie.livejournal.com
You've probably already thought of this but..why don't you have some specially prepared ceremony/ritual for your mum on your birthday?

Make it beautiful and full of all the things your mother loved (music/art/reading from certain books etc). Enjoy it and acknowlege the pain and the joy that came from her being in your life.

Make it part of your birthday but also keep part of the day just for yourself to welcome in your 30th year.

Sorry if that was no help but I didn't want to offer just *hugs*. Having said that have some *hugs*

Date: 2008-01-23 01:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fire-sermon.livejournal.com
That must be really difficult for you.

I know exactly what you mean - it brings back lots of memories of my dad every time I see it. I think the wedding thing is the bit that gets me most.

Date: 2008-01-23 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] commlal.livejournal.com
I thought of you, when I saw the girl at the end. I know I feel the same every time I think of my father.

Date: 2008-01-23 01:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilitufire.livejournal.com
No, I think this is a good idea, too.

Sorry this is so hard for you.

xx

To far away

Date: 2008-01-23 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blatherbits.livejournal.com
To do more then throw virtual hugs and happy thoughts your way.

Tough, tough, thing to have to deal with, and it is a damn powerful Ad. I can understand the Hate/Love relationship to it.

Date: 2008-01-23 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blane-firewing.livejournal.com
*hugs*

Thinking of you hon. Wish I had words of comfort, but this is something totally outside my experience.

*sends more hugs*

Date: 2008-01-24 11:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com
Oh honey, I'm sorry :(.

the ad

Date: 2008-01-25 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mangochutney04.livejournal.com
I definitely agree with you about that ad hon. My Mum lost her Mum to cancer at the same age (55)and as soon as I saw it I worried it would upset her and you and other people I know in the same position. I think probably it would have been better if they'd stuck with the 'I shouldn't be here' clips.
sending you lots and lots of hugs.

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