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Dec. 27th, 2017 11:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annwfynI'm in work today.
No one else is in. I'm alone in an empty office, trying to motivate myself to work.
It isn't working.
So, instead, I'm going to deliver a series of short reviews of my Christmas viewing. NOTE - spoilers lurk beneath for Pitch Perfect 3, all of Teen Wolf, Bright, the Box of Delights, and a Christmas Prince. Yes, I did watch the last one. It was actually worse than I expected. But anyway, skip if you are worried about spoilers.
Pitch Perfect 3. I think everyone involved with that film was on drugs. All the time. Like...literally every second that they were working on the film. I was also deeply deeply concerned by the writer saying that the film was about the experience of growing up, moving on, dealing with your twenties. WHEN DOES THAT INVOLVE BEING KIDNAPPED BY YOUR BEST FRIEND'S INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL DAD AND HAVING TO SING TO DISTRACT HIM WHILE SHE RAMPAGES THROUGH HIS YACHT LIKE SHE'S BLACK WIDOW?!?
I don't think that happened to me in my twenties.
I also had a moment of sheer exasperation about the writer's ideas of what 'the frustration of leaving college and it not being as good as you'd hoped' looks like. Becca is a music producer. OK, so some of her clients are annoying, but she's basically making records. She's living the dream. Fat Amy doesn't have to pay rent because her best friend does that, and so can be a full time busker/performer. This is unlike most aspiring actors I know who seem to work in call centers. Chloe is training as a vet. An actual vet. One of the most competitive careers to get into.
This is not, I fear, even the standard twenty something experience for Gen X or a Boomer, let alone the Millennial experience (or so the Guardian and Facebook tell me. I was born in 1978. I don't really have a clue).
They seemed all to have pretty much dream lives which just needed...I don't know...Becca to become an international superstar, Fat Amy a multi-millionaire for no reason and....
...I dunno. I guess Chloe and Aubrey got slightly more realistic wish fulfillment endings courtesy of the US military. But it seemed odd. Also, the music was nowhere near as good in this version which vexed me as I mostly watch Pitch Perfect for the songs.
I mean, it did make me laugh. I don't regret going to see it. It was cute. But compared to the really big hearted warm fuzzy girly nonsense of the first two, it felt a bit off beat. Bellas, you hit the wrong notes.
*
Teen Wolf. OK, so the giant re-watch hasn't totally finished. We still have the last ten episodes to go. But THE END IS IN SIGHT.
And I'm just going to say...totally worth it.
Also, Mairi - I think you've misjudged Teen Wolf as a sausage fest. The female characters in this show, especially from Season 3 onwards, are fucking stone cold bad ass. Lydia (genius banshee. No, the genius is an actual thing. She's a maths genius), Malia (were-coyote with some issues with being human), Alison Argent (angsty hunter chick), and Kira (kitsune in training) are all amazing, tough, charismatic and actualized characters.
So far, there's been one major dip, which was the second arc of Season 5 - the Dread Doctors were clunky, the whole plot was overly crowded with characters - but Season 6 and the ghost riders has been excellent. Mostly as the show took its overly last cast and clearly broke them down into different packs that I could get my head around.
We'll see how the end goes, but I've liked it. I think its aesthetic is lovely, I think some of its mythos is very interesting (the use of the wild hunt/ghost riders was excellent) and I'm ridiculously pleased with the fact it's letting its cast grow up and leave school. Queer friendly, girl friendly, and very pretty. Worth my time.
*
Bright.
I liked it. I really did. I think maybe the issue for some people is that it sort of seemed to promise some kind of big multiplex experience (Will Smith as lead etc) when really it was just the first arc of a Netflix series jammed into one big opening episode.
It wasn't designed for cinema. But as someone who binge watches a LOT of Netflix supernatural fantasy nonsense - it was fab. Also, it had orcs. Excellent orcs. Passionately written and realized orcs. And I love orcs. I identify with them - big and clunky and clumsy and ugly and half the time no one really likes them because they accidentally ate your cat or something. It's basically me, with fangs. I'm sure I'm the real half orken here (fuck you, stupid sexy girl painted green in the WoW movie. I am the truth of orc crossbreeding).
And they were awesome. OK, so a clear metaphor for Black people which maybe means I shouldn't identify with them so much. It's probably appropriative. But still awesome.
It was a good solid story, I liked the wand use, I liked how elves worked (and I see elves like that all the time). Fun world. Best shadowrun movie ever. But you guys knew that. Cheap special effects, but it's fucking Netflix! What did you expect?
I'd watch more. I hope lots of people do watch it and we get a spin off.
Also, Will Smith acting far more than he does normally. That was not his normal loveable Will Smith-man.
The name of the production company was dumb. I grant you that.
*
The Box of Delights.
It has aged well. It is still beautiful.
I still want to see a Punch and Judy show whenever it ends.
The wolves are always running at this time of year.
*
A Christmas Prince.
This is awful. Terrible. Horrendous. It's on Netflix. If you must, watch the trailer and then believe me when I say that the trailer is the best cut thing you'll ever see because it covers up just how horrendous this movie is. This movie is the result of a 13 year old girl being sent into some kind of sugar induced coma and dreaming up the plot while lying in a saccharine stupor.
It contains EVERY SINGLE CLICHE that any Christmas movie about a Prince of a strangely inconsistent European country looking for love could ever have. Also, a weirdly unattractive prince. I mean, he dresses like Prince Philip, with the sexual charisma of Prince Edward. He complains that women only love him for his title, but really, what else is there to love?
He also is clearly appalling at his job, ought to be replaced by the evil alternative heir (who at least might understand that raising awareness and vital funds for a local orphanage is a lot more useful than playing in the snow with some cute orphans for half and hour and then fucking off because they don't need to pay the electricity bill or whatever) and also a deep misunderstanding of how hereditary monarchy works.
No, film makers, kings of small European countries do not 'earn the crown by the strength of their character'. Those people are called 'elected officials' and have different titles.
But I do now know (because I looked it up on wikipedia) that there are only 12 monarchies in Europe now, of which only 4 (UK and Scandinavia) have survived from pre-modern times. Spain doesn't count because it lost it's monarch under Franco and then let the king come back a generation or so later. Also, the Pope sort of counts as a King. Vatican State is a monarchy.
I also know that there are no normal people in Monaco, you need a constant bank balance of £1m + ish to be allowed to maintain residence and everyone who works there drives in from France. This is also weird and a bit icky.
This is your education for the day. Also, don't watch A Christmas Prince. It's really bad.
No one else is in. I'm alone in an empty office, trying to motivate myself to work.
It isn't working.
So, instead, I'm going to deliver a series of short reviews of my Christmas viewing. NOTE - spoilers lurk beneath for Pitch Perfect 3, all of Teen Wolf, Bright, the Box of Delights, and a Christmas Prince. Yes, I did watch the last one. It was actually worse than I expected. But anyway, skip if you are worried about spoilers.
Pitch Perfect 3. I think everyone involved with that film was on drugs. All the time. Like...literally every second that they were working on the film. I was also deeply deeply concerned by the writer saying that the film was about the experience of growing up, moving on, dealing with your twenties. WHEN DOES THAT INVOLVE BEING KIDNAPPED BY YOUR BEST FRIEND'S INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL DAD AND HAVING TO SING TO DISTRACT HIM WHILE SHE RAMPAGES THROUGH HIS YACHT LIKE SHE'S BLACK WIDOW?!?
I don't think that happened to me in my twenties.
I also had a moment of sheer exasperation about the writer's ideas of what 'the frustration of leaving college and it not being as good as you'd hoped' looks like. Becca is a music producer. OK, so some of her clients are annoying, but she's basically making records. She's living the dream. Fat Amy doesn't have to pay rent because her best friend does that, and so can be a full time busker/performer. This is unlike most aspiring actors I know who seem to work in call centers. Chloe is training as a vet. An actual vet. One of the most competitive careers to get into.
This is not, I fear, even the standard twenty something experience for Gen X or a Boomer, let alone the Millennial experience (or so the Guardian and Facebook tell me. I was born in 1978. I don't really have a clue).
They seemed all to have pretty much dream lives which just needed...I don't know...Becca to become an international superstar, Fat Amy a multi-millionaire for no reason and....
...I dunno. I guess Chloe and Aubrey got slightly more realistic wish fulfillment endings courtesy of the US military. But it seemed odd. Also, the music was nowhere near as good in this version which vexed me as I mostly watch Pitch Perfect for the songs.
I mean, it did make me laugh. I don't regret going to see it. It was cute. But compared to the really big hearted warm fuzzy girly nonsense of the first two, it felt a bit off beat. Bellas, you hit the wrong notes.
*
Teen Wolf. OK, so the giant re-watch hasn't totally finished. We still have the last ten episodes to go. But THE END IS IN SIGHT.
And I'm just going to say...totally worth it.
Also, Mairi - I think you've misjudged Teen Wolf as a sausage fest. The female characters in this show, especially from Season 3 onwards, are fucking stone cold bad ass. Lydia (genius banshee. No, the genius is an actual thing. She's a maths genius), Malia (were-coyote with some issues with being human), Alison Argent (angsty hunter chick), and Kira (kitsune in training) are all amazing, tough, charismatic and actualized characters.
So far, there's been one major dip, which was the second arc of Season 5 - the Dread Doctors were clunky, the whole plot was overly crowded with characters - but Season 6 and the ghost riders has been excellent. Mostly as the show took its overly last cast and clearly broke them down into different packs that I could get my head around.
We'll see how the end goes, but I've liked it. I think its aesthetic is lovely, I think some of its mythos is very interesting (the use of the wild hunt/ghost riders was excellent) and I'm ridiculously pleased with the fact it's letting its cast grow up and leave school. Queer friendly, girl friendly, and very pretty. Worth my time.
*
Bright.
I liked it. I really did. I think maybe the issue for some people is that it sort of seemed to promise some kind of big multiplex experience (Will Smith as lead etc) when really it was just the first arc of a Netflix series jammed into one big opening episode.
It wasn't designed for cinema. But as someone who binge watches a LOT of Netflix supernatural fantasy nonsense - it was fab. Also, it had orcs. Excellent orcs. Passionately written and realized orcs. And I love orcs. I identify with them - big and clunky and clumsy and ugly and half the time no one really likes them because they accidentally ate your cat or something. It's basically me, with fangs. I'm sure I'm the real half orken here (fuck you, stupid sexy girl painted green in the WoW movie. I am the truth of orc crossbreeding).
And they were awesome. OK, so a clear metaphor for Black people which maybe means I shouldn't identify with them so much. It's probably appropriative. But still awesome.
It was a good solid story, I liked the wand use, I liked how elves worked (and I see elves like that all the time). Fun world. Best shadowrun movie ever. But you guys knew that. Cheap special effects, but it's fucking Netflix! What did you expect?
I'd watch more. I hope lots of people do watch it and we get a spin off.
Also, Will Smith acting far more than he does normally. That was not his normal loveable Will Smith-man.
The name of the production company was dumb. I grant you that.
*
The Box of Delights.
It has aged well. It is still beautiful.
I still want to see a Punch and Judy show whenever it ends.
The wolves are always running at this time of year.
*
A Christmas Prince.
This is awful. Terrible. Horrendous. It's on Netflix. If you must, watch the trailer and then believe me when I say that the trailer is the best cut thing you'll ever see because it covers up just how horrendous this movie is. This movie is the result of a 13 year old girl being sent into some kind of sugar induced coma and dreaming up the plot while lying in a saccharine stupor.
It contains EVERY SINGLE CLICHE that any Christmas movie about a Prince of a strangely inconsistent European country looking for love could ever have. Also, a weirdly unattractive prince. I mean, he dresses like Prince Philip, with the sexual charisma of Prince Edward. He complains that women only love him for his title, but really, what else is there to love?
He also is clearly appalling at his job, ought to be replaced by the evil alternative heir (who at least might understand that raising awareness and vital funds for a local orphanage is a lot more useful than playing in the snow with some cute orphans for half and hour and then fucking off because they don't need to pay the electricity bill or whatever) and also a deep misunderstanding of how hereditary monarchy works.
No, film makers, kings of small European countries do not 'earn the crown by the strength of their character'. Those people are called 'elected officials' and have different titles.
But I do now know (because I looked it up on wikipedia) that there are only 12 monarchies in Europe now, of which only 4 (UK and Scandinavia) have survived from pre-modern times. Spain doesn't count because it lost it's monarch under Franco and then let the king come back a generation or so later. Also, the Pope sort of counts as a King. Vatican State is a monarchy.
I also know that there are no normal people in Monaco, you need a constant bank balance of £1m + ish to be allowed to maintain residence and everyone who works there drives in from France. This is also weird and a bit icky.
This is your education for the day. Also, don't watch A Christmas Prince. It's really bad.
