Seven things I learned from Star Wars (spoilers)

[annwfyn]

.....

1)      If you are a loving parent who wants the best for your child, abandon them in a desert immediately. Foster parents optional, but having any kind of parental support will damage their prospects in the long run. If you can leave them in the Atlas mountains with nothing but a tin can for company, they’ll thank you in the end.

2)      Conversely, don’t hug your children. Not only will loved and supported children from a close family fall to the dark side, they’ll be kind of whiny and incompetent with it, and despite theoretically advanced training will get their arses handed to them by the kids raised by droids in said desert.

3)      Don’t fall to the dark side. All the good names have been taken. The days of getting to be Darth Sidious or Darth Vader or even Darth Muderous are gone. Darth Snark was taken and adapted recently. There’s a reason Ben Solo didn’t even bother and just used the name of his old D&d character.

4)      Girls basically run the world. They are just cooler. Unless they’re trying to be pilots. Ain’t nothing beats a swaggering man in tight trousers and a leather jacket for that.

5)      When trying to take over the world, ensure that all attacks in which you attempt to hunt down the spies who are stealing your secrets begin with some kind of EMP. Once the droids are crippled, your enemies are doomed.

6)      Actually, just do that every time you see sand in the distance. You won’t regret it.

7)      See point One.

(Don’t get me wrong. I loved this film.)

Comments

[lslaw.livejournal.com]

So, I'm not sure you're taking the right lessons here.

1) I'm not sure. Who do we have as a counterexample? Does _anyone_ in Star Wars have serious parental support? Leia. Maybe Vader as a child, and he went far. To paraphrase, he did great things. Terrible things, but great.

2) You're reading a lot into 'we did everything we could'. Maybe their answer was military school.

3) Well, you can't be Darth if you're not a Sith Lord and you can't be a Sith Lord if... You know, I'm not sure. Maybe there needs to be two of you. Not sure how many Knights of Ren there are.

4) Clearly the world is actually run (if not competently) by giant hologram Voldemort.

5) Fair.

6) Probably fair.

[melsner.livejournal.com]

I didn't get the movie at all. Rey had an English accent, but she was supposed to be a good guy??? I thought only evil characters had English accents.

[melsner.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of amused that there are "cameos" who had more lines and screen time than actors who were listed as the main stars. And I'm not just talking about the obvious one.

Max von Sydow was listed as one of the stars of the movie. Big Blue Name in the end credits. What the hell? Greg Grunberg, JJ Abram's childhood friend, had a bigger part as one of the X-Wing pilots.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Oscar Isaac was also due to be killed in the tie crash, making Poe a pretty short lived character too. I wonder how much of the script changed between casting and filming.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

1) Hmm, not sure I agree with this. I don't think we've seen the real details of Rey's backstory - her insistence on returning to Jakku seemed odd to me, I wonder if she was commanded to stay through the force. But I don't think she was abandoned by her parents there deliberately. But at least she turned out OK.

2) I think Luke was probably also loved and hugged.And didn't go evil. I think there might be more at work here. And Kylo Ben wasn't whining - he was angsting. You should know the difference

3) Look, sometimes online name generators go bad. You pick a name - it feels like it will work and then mid battle you realise Darth Vinus is just not going to work.

4) It's important for men to have a place, and that place is feeling their genitalia crushed in overly tight trousers in the cockpit of a starfighter.