Jehovah's Witnesses

[annwfyn]

I just had an odd experience.

Two Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door and asked me if I had ever thought about the bible. Randomly (and possibly in an irresponsible way) I said "no thanks, I'm a practising catholic"*, and made to leave.

"Really?" said one of the Jehovah's Witnesses, and proceeded to talk.

It was amazing. Standing on my doorstep these two women proceeded to say increasingly dubious and really rather insulting things about the Catholic Church, starting with "but haven't you ever found yourself questioning your church. I mean, what about birth control?", continuing with "but don't you ever think that the Catholic Church would be a better place if they just listened to the word of god, and read the bible", "look at Italy - that's the most Catholic country in the world and that's where the mafia comes from", and "look at Rwanda - all the people there claimed to be Catholic and look what they did" and finishing up with "you're very lucky if you've had a good experience with your priest. Many people are not so lucky. Just think of all those children in America who've been abused."

Next time I'm claiming to be Jewish and finding out what they can say about the Jewish religion in fifteen minutes.

I had no idea that missionaries could be quite that offensive!


*I have this theory that Jehovah's Witnesses are hunting agnostics, and claiming that one has a strong faith in SOMETHING should make them go away, out of interfaith respect if nothing else...

Comments

[sea-of-flame.livejournal.com]

I tend to find answering with "No thankyou - my boyfriend is an atheist and I'm a theist" tends to confuse them enough that they go away...clearly living in sin, living AMICABLY in sin with totally opposing religious viewpoints...oh, and that's assuming that they know what a theist is ;)

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I wonder if those sort of tactics ever work for them.

[crocodilewings.livejournal.com]

Aggressive evangelism is usually offensive when it's not wanted.

A bit like aggressive people, really.

True Story

[suchid.livejournal.com]

The following day after a night at Rowan's place; Rowan, his housemate, a mutual friend and myself were sitting around discussing Vampire and watching Fame. Rowan's housemate, John, had come in and seen Mormon Missionaries doing the rounds on the other side of the road and when we heard a knock at the door, he rushed upstairs stating he wouldn't answer the door. Rowan didn't want to answer the door either.

So, I answered the door. They asked if I'd heard about the Church of Latter Day Saints and that they wanted to talk to me about the Books of Mormon. I told them politely that I didn't live there, but that I'd heard about the Church of Latter Day Saints from friends and that I was interested about what they had to say. (This may or may not have to do with a nefarious plan to ask them if they'd seen the South Park episode about Mormons). I was generally interested. They mentioned where their Temple was (who knew they had a temple in my town?) and when they were open from. I gave them my address and they said they'd come around and talk to me about it.

They never did. I was very disappointed.

Missionaries can be such bastards.

Re: True Story

[purpleheather.livejournal.com]

Thinking about it, there's a Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints at the end of this street.

[castorpollux23.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.... Perhaps I'll try to tell them that I worship something really bizzare, like Cthulhu or am a part of the Eosteric Cult of Dagon. Just to see.

OOH! Or say you're a scientologist. That will be fun!

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

My Dad does that sort of thing, he then goes one step further. He invites them in and tries to convert them to his religion of choice.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

you need facts to take these things on, such as the condom issue was caused by two cardinals who are both dead now, and frankly the church is much more relaxed about it beyond the top levels.

And frannkly because people claim to be catholic doesn't mean that they are actually Catholic.

The jehovah's Witnesses don't have any atrocities to their names because they don't have any african multi-tribal countries devoted to their religion, basically they're jealous.

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

Nothing repels Jehovah's Witnesses like five very friendly huskies who leap at visitors.

Just a thought ;)

[castorlion.livejournal.com]

Particularly if they are actually people dressed up in risque costumes. I still have contact details for few Furries, if you like...?

[castorlion.livejournal.com]

*mutters darkly* Mormons never talk to me. I actually want to discuss their religion!

[red-phil.livejournal.com]

My favourite 'Jehovah's Witnesses' story is one of Liams.
Preparing for a fancy dress party the doorbell goes.
Liams mate goes to answer as Liam is getting changed.
Jehovah's Witnesses start their preaching only to tail off after a few seconds.
Standing in the doorway is Liam's mate in full saphron robe, sandles and shaved head.

[adze.livejournal.com]

Several years ago, they pushed a newsletter through the door, then followed it up with a visit a few days later.

One of the things in the newsletter was an article on the evils of roleplaying. When they came back, sherbetsaucers asked them, as we were off out somewhere, if we could arrange a time for them to come back so we could discuss this particular article. They seemed keen to do this, and a date was set.

They never showed, and in the next couple of years we were at the house, appeared to avoid the place...

The best one I heard about, though, was a guy who lived across the road from my parents. My mam used to be Church Secretary for our local Methodist Church, and this guy was another memeber of the church Council. When the Jehovah's Witnesses came round, Archie not only offered to sell them a Bible, but took them in, and discussed how they were wrong for a couple of hours.

They never bothered him again, either...

[wildrogue.livejournal.com]

Nope, they're hunting everyone. It is vitally important NEVER to say 'no thanks, I'm pagan'. This only encourages them.

[wildrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh, and since it seems to be the day for it...

I was home sick from school a few years back. I was generally loungeing in grotty clothes feeling sorry for myself when there was a knock at the door. I open it (foolishly) and standing outside is a little old lady with pamphlets and behind her, looking totally horrified, was a rather good friend of mine. Cue ten minutes of old lady talking about Jesus (and at one point offering to make me lemsip) and my friend (who knew what religion I was) trying desperately to drag her away.

[obake.livejournal.com]

*opens door*

"Hi! You're just in time for my household's weekly Naked Day! Would you like to join us?"

*starts unbuckling pants*

[melsner.livejournal.com]

"Your God gives you white bread and tap water. My God gives me blood and mangoes."

[commlal.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

You didnt take the offensive option that I would have took and mentioned blood donations?

Actually I was amused when I was young, the local Jehovas had kids at my school who I was in the school band with (they were actually really nice). One day I was bumbling round the house on a Sunday doing Sunday things and someone knocked on the unused front door. After fighting my way to it I opened it to find Graham (one of the boys in the family and played trumpet) and his dad doing the Bothering rounds.

"Oh, hi Faith, didn't know you lived here"
"Yea, for a wee while now"
"OK, see you at School"
"Bye"

Being the openly agnostic in a religious comunity makes you safe :D

[nadriel.livejournal.com]

Heh- we got visited by some JW's back when I was younger. My dad invited them in for tea and a chat. What he didn't mention is that he was a C of E vicar with 30 years theology experience, research and training (and a questioning nature like mine). Oh, and a warped sense of humour.

Despite the fact that these particular ones would do frequent sweeps of the area, the never returned to our house...:-)

[melsner.livejournal.com]

amazing. I think I was in high school before I realized that Catholics were a minority in most places and that people thought we were odd...

[ulaidhan.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I've never been called upon by would-be missionaries.

I was mistaken for one once, but that's as close as I've come. :P

My grandfather was among the collection of people who took real pleasure in inviting them in for a chat about faith. As the son of one of the leading British theologians of the day, and having inherited his library and many of his reading habits, he found Witness-, Adventist-, and Mormon-baiting to be a great deal of fun....

[eladriell.livejournal.com]

You know, I always invite 'em in, give em a cuppa and listen.

sometimes i disagree, sometimes i dont...but i tend to admire people with enough faith and zeal to actively try to change others in a way they believe is better...

...much like my NF mates i must admit, but it beats sitting around talking about changing the world. I dunno, mebe i just get bored sometimes.

Have a friend

[gopher-that.livejournal.com]

I had a friend who invited a couple of Jehovas Witnesses in for a Black Mass that he said was happening at that time(with help in sound effects from the living room), they looked panicked and walked away at speed.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

You know, reading the above replies to this post (not th eoriginal post itself), it strikes me how profoundly unimaginative most people are in dealing with the Jehova's Witnesses. Claiming witchcraft/black masses/etc is just so...uninspired.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

It was amazing, i once answered the door wearing boxer shorts, a dressing gown (mostly on) and awoken after a few hours sleep, full neanderthal look, with a fluffy dog in hand (who just wanted to sniff them and make friends). They made excuses and *never came back* - for years after they'd go from 7 to 9 and just go past 8...

...i'm not sure if thats good or bad!