Of endings and other things....
Apr. 4th, 2005 10:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annwfynDear Camarilla
Honey...I don't know how you're going to take this letter. A bit of me thinks this might be a hurtful note, and wishes I didn't have to write it. A bit of me suspects you won't really notice anymore. Either way, some of this needs to me said.
You and me have been together a while, Camarilla. We first met when I was still at university. You were the geeky kid in the corner, the one my cool indie kid friends told me not to bother with. They said all you were about were the faded metallica t shirts, and the grotty grey trainers. They said you cared too much about numbers and rules and had rather bad personal hygeine. Erm. Yeah. Actually, I gotta admit they were mostly right. But I was lonely...heck...I was desperate. I hadn't had a good date with a decent larp in a while - not since I broke up with Dunedin, because I couldn't hack the latex ears and patched together doublets. I wanted a larp in my life, and at least I hadn't ever had so much as a one night stand with you.
You were kinda rare in that. I may have been a bit of a larp slut when we met.
Anyway, we started dating. And, much to my surprise, I realised that for all the ketchup stains on your front and the occasional numbers geekery, you were actually kinda fun. Every date we had I'd come out of smiling. I did stupid stuff I never thought I'd do, like trying to climb out through the walls of a multi-storey car park after crawling through police lines. I bought potence. I travelled to London to get myself blood bound by Kyne Brooker and it was fantastic.
You know, I did fall in love with you a bit. The other larps fell away. I didn't need them in my life. Not when I had you. You'd travel with me, meet new people with me. We always seemed to have new things to explore. Werewolf, mage, changeling. Yeah, I can safely say we had a good time. Without you I wouldn't have met half my friends. Without you I would never have learnt just what Dark Thaum really does.
Actually, Camarilla, I think maybe that might be one of those things that I'd rather you didn't bring up in public. I did feel a little dirty afterwards.
For years we were inseperable. Some of my old friends seemed to think I was crazy. They said I devoted too much time to you and couldn't talk of anything else. But they said the same about the crack habit and I know they were just trying to spoil my fun then, as well. I was a DC, an ADST, a DST, an ARST and an RST. I played characters in every venue. I played online, abroad, via e mail. You meant so much to me.
And then, I guess, it began to change.
I don't quite know when. Maybe it was the day you told me you'd gotten involved with the Year of Fire crew. I told you I didn't like them, wasn't comfortable hanging out with them, but you didn't want to know. You wanted to live on the wild side, said I'd appreciate my IC life more knowing that it was going to end. You said you wanted to expand, be epic. I said I kinda liked the slow moving soap opera, but I don't think I had much control over you by then.
And since then...
I don't know.
You see, I've noticed lately that you don't make me smile as much. I've noticed, in fact, that you're not good for me. I'm around you and I seem to fight with my friends, I get tense, I get upset. I've found myself making excuses not to go see you. And it isn't just me. It's you as well. You used to be a pretty easy going guy. You wanted things to be fun. Not too serious. Not too heavy. Lately you've become more and more controlling. Accountability is all very well, but when you told me that I shouldn't have bought that milk without checking with you - honey - you've been getting out of control.
It's just not fun anymore. Your friends tell me I'm a whiney bitch who is just spoilt and used to being important. Maybe they are right. But I think telling me that after one of them ran over my dog while borrowing your car is kinda crappy. I know the dog was sick, but 'bitch needed to die' really wasn't the best way to break it to me either.
Basically, Camarilla, we're through.
You smell. You've been putting on weight. The cologne - it smells of battery acid. And honey - I've got more news. I'm not afraid to be alone any more. Maybe I won't have a new sexy larp in my life (although I hear rumours of a hot little piece of Fading Suns passion play larp action. Whew! The arse on that thing!) but I can live with being on my own.
We're through. I'm leaving you.
So long, and thanks for all that MC.
Sally
Honey...I don't know how you're going to take this letter. A bit of me thinks this might be a hurtful note, and wishes I didn't have to write it. A bit of me suspects you won't really notice anymore. Either way, some of this needs to me said.
You and me have been together a while, Camarilla. We first met when I was still at university. You were the geeky kid in the corner, the one my cool indie kid friends told me not to bother with. They said all you were about were the faded metallica t shirts, and the grotty grey trainers. They said you cared too much about numbers and rules and had rather bad personal hygeine. Erm. Yeah. Actually, I gotta admit they were mostly right. But I was lonely...heck...I was desperate. I hadn't had a good date with a decent larp in a while - not since I broke up with Dunedin, because I couldn't hack the latex ears and patched together doublets. I wanted a larp in my life, and at least I hadn't ever had so much as a one night stand with you.
You were kinda rare in that. I may have been a bit of a larp slut when we met.
Anyway, we started dating. And, much to my surprise, I realised that for all the ketchup stains on your front and the occasional numbers geekery, you were actually kinda fun. Every date we had I'd come out of smiling. I did stupid stuff I never thought I'd do, like trying to climb out through the walls of a multi-storey car park after crawling through police lines. I bought potence. I travelled to London to get myself blood bound by Kyne Brooker and it was fantastic.
You know, I did fall in love with you a bit. The other larps fell away. I didn't need them in my life. Not when I had you. You'd travel with me, meet new people with me. We always seemed to have new things to explore. Werewolf, mage, changeling. Yeah, I can safely say we had a good time. Without you I wouldn't have met half my friends. Without you I would never have learnt just what Dark Thaum really does.
Actually, Camarilla, I think maybe that might be one of those things that I'd rather you didn't bring up in public. I did feel a little dirty afterwards.
For years we were inseperable. Some of my old friends seemed to think I was crazy. They said I devoted too much time to you and couldn't talk of anything else. But they said the same about the crack habit and I know they were just trying to spoil my fun then, as well. I was a DC, an ADST, a DST, an ARST and an RST. I played characters in every venue. I played online, abroad, via e mail. You meant so much to me.
And then, I guess, it began to change.
I don't quite know when. Maybe it was the day you told me you'd gotten involved with the Year of Fire crew. I told you I didn't like them, wasn't comfortable hanging out with them, but you didn't want to know. You wanted to live on the wild side, said I'd appreciate my IC life more knowing that it was going to end. You said you wanted to expand, be epic. I said I kinda liked the slow moving soap opera, but I don't think I had much control over you by then.
And since then...
I don't know.
You see, I've noticed lately that you don't make me smile as much. I've noticed, in fact, that you're not good for me. I'm around you and I seem to fight with my friends, I get tense, I get upset. I've found myself making excuses not to go see you. And it isn't just me. It's you as well. You used to be a pretty easy going guy. You wanted things to be fun. Not too serious. Not too heavy. Lately you've become more and more controlling. Accountability is all very well, but when you told me that I shouldn't have bought that milk without checking with you - honey - you've been getting out of control.
It's just not fun anymore. Your friends tell me I'm a whiney bitch who is just spoilt and used to being important. Maybe they are right. But I think telling me that after one of them ran over my dog while borrowing your car is kinda crappy. I know the dog was sick, but 'bitch needed to die' really wasn't the best way to break it to me either.
Basically, Camarilla, we're through.
You smell. You've been putting on weight. The cologne - it smells of battery acid. And honey - I've got more news. I'm not afraid to be alone any more. Maybe I won't have a new sexy larp in my life (although I hear rumours of a hot little piece of Fading Suns passion play larp action. Whew! The arse on that thing!) but I can live with being on my own.
We're through. I'm leaving you.
So long, and thanks for all that MC.
Sally
